Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

So the thing about sitting around and watching movies and playing computer games and sitting in front of your computer all day long is that you start to feel more and more like a fat loser... i mean what with the candy wrappers, and 3 distinctly different piles of fastfood remnants, and bottles of water and pop... and the dirty clothes, and the lack of creativity or reading or accomplishing anything....

and i shouldnt really feel this way... i have been hanging out with people for like 5 days straight, my family is back, im not alone anymore...

maybe its the not having a purpose thing.
maybe its the overrelying on one or two people for your self esteem fix.
maybe it is the lack of applying myself.
maybe its because i eat fastfood and dont exercise.

but the process seems to sustain itself
and my self esteem seems to go down with each day,
and my weight seems to be rising even though my mother's scale says im within normal ranges... a surprise to me.

all afternoon i felt like i was gonna pass out, like i wasnt getting enough oxygen.. like i had a fever. I took a nap, no one ever called... i woke up with more energy but not feeling better.