Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

what a weird day. I talked to both sides of a broken up couple (about different things). heard some news for the first time. hung out with some gentleman im not sure i can trust, but also feel very bonded with because they are so much like me. discussed politics, religion, humanity, feelings, needs, actions, forgiveness, willingness, etc etc.

talked to someone about why it is that we are so wanting to be there for the people who hurt us, while we neglect those who love us.

alicia and i briefly talked about how people are so much more willing to accept that the end of the world is coming, rather than care enough to make something work... to have a goal or dream and pursue it.

bobby kennedy knew he would be assassinated and u can hear it in some of the speeches, not calling out for political solutions, but real life changing solutions, only a person who knows he will die speaks like that.

I am perfectly comfortable with the idea of being that person, as long as someone assures me it will be worth it.

i suppose any soldier must admit that.

the other day i said something about not knowing whats going on in someone elses life and taking them for granted... i think that has come back to me today, as the ultimate reason that self censorship is a good idea sometimes... because although its limiting my voice and i do need to express.. well i shouldnt do so at the cost of someone else right? and what happens if that person is having a bad day? should i speak out because im having a bad day and make someone else join me? no. not while i am incapable of making them feel better.. so if thats the case.. i best keep my mouth shut. and thats the only differences sometimes between what is right and what is human, and i can not blame a person for being human, not when i find humanity beautiful.

so please forgive me when im angry, displaying with violence perhaps my humanity, know that i do so at great cost, knowing full well the concequences and perhaps just at that moment, not being able to burden the weight, and most likely crying out at that loss of all that is good in me... my ability to be ok for you.