Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

What to say what to say...

I dont mean any offense by this but it bugs me, so im gonna vent and hope those involved (one of whom says she wont read this anymore) understand that its just not easy.

The fortune teller I saw said there are two women in my life right now. I feel like thats true except that I dont get to see either of them, both are graduating, both are insecure about their position in my life, both have stuff going on in their own lives, and me I'm stuck wondering how to solve these problems without any real options at all. I want to see both, I want to share my life in different ways with both, hell with more then both of them. I want to share my life with every woman i meet. Doesnt mean I can so I tend to single out the ones that have something special, and then from there I single out the ones who dont find me too annoying, and from there I go even further and be come friends with the ones who like me, and from there i take a very select few who I know i could love more than a friend - and who i think could feel the same, and from there ---from there I check if the situation is ok, and from there I perhaps start pondering.

This process takes a while -usually.
Its not that I blame either, I know they are doing what is right for them, I know im handing them a situation that sucks and saying "deal with it" I know im off adventuring and they are stuck in morris, I know I know I know,

but its not easy being green, and its harder dealing with situations in which everything feels right in my heart, no problems, enough to go around and I dont mean in any kind of physical way, but in their heads, in their hearts and with their frustration I get overwhelmed in my head and hurt in my heart knowing I cant help them understand.

Why cant free love (once again LOVE only) be real? why are there complications?
a week ago I had a crush on 6 different girls, was in a relationship with a beautiful girl on the other side of the planet and had a best friend who I still love and in my heart there was no problem. no one was at risk to be hurt, no one had to worry about anything. E mails and phone calls insist otherwise and I'm still wondering why we cant all get along.

once again I understand its not easy. but love isnt supposed to be. so work with me on it and everything will be awesome, work with me on it and everything will be lovely.

I was about to say have faith that I wont hurt any of you out there, and then caught myself remembering it isnt always about the intentions, but still my intentions are good. seriously im trying very hard to make things work.


Im gonna not write about this much anymore because it only seems to hurt people, and not just specific people but apparently everyone in the world has a problem anytime i get in a relationship...
wow i must be really tired to over generalize like that.

adventuring with one of my best friends from school and im still sad/lonely and frustrated.

and yet, is the world not fucking beautiful? isnt it? isnt it amazing? dont you sometimes get swept up and weap and smile at it?

well you should, and im gonna keep trying to, even if it costs me.