I came home to the overwhelming smell of mold in my kitchen. Some of the fruit had gone bad and it had smelled bad for awhile in certain areas, but the parties had covered it up. The smell alone makes me sick sometimes, I can't imagine the people who spent hours the other day chatting in there.
I have that really awful jealous/why not me feeling. I've had it since I left Illy's last night. I just want to be in love with someone who loves me back. Equal, no more of this off balance shit.
It snowed for new years, and made driving home so bright.
We just curled up and watched movies... barely recognizing when it turned midnight. I loved the low expectations.
I have been trying to spend my days re-centering myself. Journaling and reading. caffeinated
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I took a break from writing to see if my mood would improve, I've smiled a bit more.
Learned about the coital post-life.
A bunch of college friends are over, playing games, playing music.
I used to live for this didn't I?
Why am I feeling so ready to leave.
Why does sitting alone at a coffee shop call so much more than good company, smiles, laughter, art and beauty?
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