Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

That familiar fall cloak seems to be gathering around me, something about the breezes whispers "prepare"  and the sun is fading...

My roommates are having a party tonight, I don't think I am looking forward to it. I am wondering how it will go, but I am not eager to play a role. 

My room is not clean and my laundry has not been done. I'm tired, even though I slept all day, I feel like I'm fighting off a future cold. But its all my head that is the problem, I just can't imagine easy connections the way they sometimes come. It seems a pity to be around friends and not friendly... and I don't want to fall in that mood, but I already feel it coming on.

I miss easiness and love. I want it, I want to dream it, wake to it, go to sleep to it, spend my day thinking about it, and yet... I want it all a certain way, want to control things, or rather I want them to control me, reach and grab me, make me want them. That isn't going to happen though is it.

The camping trip went well... I'm still exhausted from it. Not prepared for Monday. 

I wish the students would make things easier for us and them. 

Learn lessons and enjoy each other.

I have this trouble because there is a certain group of students who just get it more easily... they all happen to be white and middle to upper class... they are already imbedded in this type of rebellion, they already like to learn, they like the type of freedoms we can provide... and so they make it in our system... but that doesn't serve the students who don't have that background... and it challenges the ideas that we are talking about... or rather makes them so real its hard to deal with.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go to the Renaissance Festival with my Dad, should be fun but I can already feel this vibe of like "you aren't doing enough for your family" and I kind of feel that coming from every direction right now... 

and all I really want to do is go to sleep.