Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

I feel like without my conscious approval my mind is sabotaging my life.
Its not like there is anything so significant going on that I could really fuck it all up... but I feel like somehow I am not even trying to make things good... or at least I must be coming off that way. I thought I was just being more real.

My brother is actually stressed about his job, his life, his future... listening to him I realized that so much of it is completely out of his hands... I feel like my entire life is in my hands right now, and I guess I am just not doing a very good job at it.

It made me want to help him and yet, I know that's not where my passions are. I know that is not going to make me feel good, it will only add more stress to my life. I also know that I could contribute very little... but that's all he is really asking for.

It occurs to me though how little anything actually matters. I don't mean in the depressing "life sucks" way. I mean in the... what does it really matter if I don't teach my BEST class. What does it really matter if I don't have EVERYTHING READY on day one of work. Does it matter if I have the best trip, or worst trip, or somewhere in-between... and if something is upsetting is it really the end of the world?

Now I just need to convince my mind to let go of it... 2 hours is enough thinking brain. Let it go.