at least 15 minutes or so

I got books to read and shit but...

I'm trying to get back in the habit of writing.

So the deal with that one post is that I found out a few days ago my Mom has Breast Cancer. Its hard to know how to react to that because for the most part I am not worried, but at times my thoughts get to me and it builds up quick. So the other night it was like 2 AM and I was just freaking out because I didn't really have anyone to talk to. I really wanted to just write something on facebook -like a general plea for someone to care... but my cousin hadn't been notified and all my family is on there and we are supposed to save face or something you know... so my cousins wasn't told because My uncle died just a year ago and its scary news to tell a teenager. Well anyway... it wasn't really just that, I was thinking about my Dad and how both his parents were dead now. How this was the first Christmas we didn't even think about going to Sioux Falls. How we will probably never do that again. Its just a lot to think about.

Its been hard lately... I am really enjoying time with friends but there are people I feel I am disappointing. I am not sure if I can change that, or if it is my job, but it feels bad.
The break has been really nice though... just relaxing and having fun. We went to a movie and went bowling today and sledding yesterday.
Like simple clean fun, no drinking or worries (except oh shit I'm gonna hit that jump!)
I got to see Nova and Robyn, and Hollie and Gabs and Ismael. I also got to see one of my old friends' new house which was surprisingly amazing and domestic and home-like. A bunch of people might go to Poncho Villa tomorrow so that should be fun.
At some point I know I need to do some work and read and maybe do some Spirit of Truth stuff but its been nice to have a break from my normal reality.

Um I liked Avatar and Sherlock Holmes, and home movies I do recommend Synedoche New York even though its a little slow... I think it might be more fun with someone. I am about to watch The Broken.

By the way since u were wondering my first bowling game was over 100 but the second wasn't so you can rest knowing I did " meh".

I have also discovered Mike and Ike Bubblegum which you should buy and be jealous of.