This is T-roy's kid, but some people were joking today that I might be pregnant... so thats what you get... a kid.
Dont ask me why I used this picture but one of the thoughts I had this weekend was that "When am I gonna find another love?" question...
Looking through pictures the last few days for school projects reminded me I have seen some sweet things and been to some amazing places... and that I should do that again some time because its beautiful.
If there was a 4th picture, it would be some sort of symbolic picture reminding me of someone who's picture would be taboo on here. I hate that sort of thing, I often want to put pictures of people up because I am thinking of them... and then I don't because what would it mean? what would I be saying? oh shit call the cops... I still obsess over the beautiful people I have loved...
Tomorrow I have presentation about how awesome I am as a teacher... its gonna suck. Hahaha
and before I go... (because clearly I am avoiding the necessary work)
I have been questioning how strongly I believe in my "no physical intimacy" rules a lot lately... not seriously question about anyone.. well rather questioning about everyone... because I realized the other day that it has been something like 20 months since I have even kissed anyone.
16 comments:
What is your no physical intimacy rule?
just have to be in a serious relationship... or starting one for some stuff... u know.. geez
u really think u want a relationship or just someone to hug u back?
well someone knows how to get to the heart of the matter... its a good question. I think I alternate between the two. I don't want my desire to be in a relationship to be fear driven, and sometimes it is. (fear driven meaning, jump into something because I am lonely and don't want to be forever) but i miss a lot of stuff about being in a relationship too. In a lot of ways, I really miss just feeling that close to someone, wanting to know more about them all the time, experience things with them, watch them experience the world. That stuff can be there in friendship, but it is subtle, where as at least in my head and my heart, a relationship means being devoted to someone, I'm sort of sick of devoting my life to me all the time. but yes, someone to hug back would be nice too, someone who wanted to.
As far as intimacy, I trust my friends to hug and hold with joy, but i cant expect and they dont expect any of the devotion that seems to be necessary for me to do more.
SO I wait. like I always have, for someone to wow me, but sometimes I get sick of waiting.
but enough about me already... ha. I should have a more interactive blog... where you at people? what you thinking about? can you relate or am I alone on this?
u say u obses over ppl u love but u still sound so hung up on ur past. u lookin for a replicant of someone u already had? why not post pics if it's that important? u post pics of otehr important ppl
Are you looking for a relationship with someone new, who you haven't met yet, or one with someone you already know? What does it take to WOW you?
Cole is adorable! You look good holding that kid. (:
I wrote out this big long essay, but I'm not sure anyone would be happy about the answers... the truth:
-I dont know what it takes to WOW me, I would be searching if I did.
-The past is sometimes just as influential on me as the present or the future, and I love those attachments because they remind me that I have lived and loved. So though it keeps me from doing bigger and better things, I wont regret or neglect those thoughts/feelings.
Pictures?
maybe the next time I'm feeling it.
also werent we all gonna try to not sign anonymously... or was that me just being silly. You dont have to sign in, just write it like this
-(mr jerkface)
that was an example... you could just write your name.
I wonder if you had someone to hug, would you still want a relationship as badly? Or would some part of u be sated and you could continue on devoting your life to you...
PS maybe you'll meet someone that plays the skin flute :P
When you live the solitary life you have to find things as you can, that is how I feel about it anyway, I'm a scavenger gleaning hugs from anyone I can and making that be enough, because it has been a long time, dammit. There are people all around you who you could hug, but I think that many have the perception that they shouldn't, or aren't supposed to hug you. I know you want someone to hug as in, you want someone special, but I say make the best of what is available to you. Look at all the beautiful warm generous people you spend your time with and hug them already!
*L
You seem so critical of anonymity and yet you allude to the anyonymous and censor your own blogs. Interesting...
-Person with a Point
Dear Person with a Point,
First, since this is Mike's blog he can do whatever he wants. Censor or not, it's his and he's already putting himself out there by blogging at all.
Second, if people want to criticize, comment, adore, talk shit, encourage, or whatever his blog, they should take credit for their opinions. Because he is taking credit for his thoughts whether or not he tells the whole story. You yourself could be allusive WITHIN your comment and we might not understand it, but you should still take credit for it. You are making a point about the wrong thing.
Wordup.
yo people... no squabbling on the comments k?
You're all great people there is no reason to get all weird.
-miguel de haggar
Sorry Mikey.
Love to the person with the point. Didn't mean to get all cranky on you. I just like to squab. Love love.
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