Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

I wrote this out before… but then my computer crashed unexpectedly…
I had just applied antibiotic goo (similar to Neosporin except walgreens brand) to the cleaning lady’s shoulder, and band aid-ed her up…
She cut herself on the metal shelves in the room while moving beds to make them…
She doesn’t speak any english, but pain is universal, and it was funny that my internet cut out right before the crisis. Makes me believe things are working out again… maybe im just more aware of them..
The healing power of prayer… I went to bed praying… I had horrible dreams and couldn’t sleep for the first hour or so… I guess working out the demons… and then I woke up happy and found nice messages from beautiful people in my in box…

I cant tell you how extreme I get when im alone… Someone said to me recently that I don’t seem to really like being alone… this is why. I go crazy!!
I convince myself that no on cares about me because they are all too busy, or that they have no reason to care about me, or that they are too hung up on their own things to care (and somehow convince myself that I wouldn’t do that if I were in their position-even though I am doing it at that very moment being caught up in myself)
Im stupid and unreliable and unhelpful when I get like that,.. I cant be trusted, depended on or respected… im generally a piss ant and sometimes I wish I would go through with it…
Sort of like the internet here or the phones in turkey… they seem helpful but they are almost more frustrating then good…
Before I get all angry again let me just apologize for being silly.
But more, let me apologize for not being there to hold your hand, or apply band aids…
Peace and love
taff


Second blog entry… (no internet..)
Its funny how acid reflux hurts when you have either eaten way too much or bad things… or when you haven’t eaten enough… which is “helpful” when you don’t have your pills and are trying not to eat…