Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

(The following message is for anyone i had at least 7 different people in my head when i was writing and i dont mean no disrespect to no one.)


I find myself close to tears a lot lately as if there is something im holding back and it comes out at every chance. Close to ears is not really accurate cuz I spose I cried a little but it wasn't like sob sobs or nothing.
On the way to Tim's last night I found myself really overwhelmed with this feeling of responsibility (I guess) just like taking on too much in too little time and not feeling the weight lifting and realizing it would be ok when I got to Tim's something like that. So thanks to you two and to your parents Tim, good people. I feel really um I guess comforted just by that fact all of you exist.

hmm I guess I should talk about the Easter thing, and really I don't want anyone to be offended or like stop reading cuz its about to get ll Christian again and I know yall aren't always down with that, which I find I dunno sort of sad in a way.
I was telling a friend the other day that it makes me really well sad, that none of my friends are comforted by a religion, and knowing about only a few and truly knowing only 1 or 2 I guess I feel the need to share.

So cuz im Christian and it was Easter I'll rock this one out.
And I should start this by saying I have been really unsure about what exactly I believe in the past few months, but uh still.
So Jesus was this due right? and maybe he was God, maybe just inspired by God, maybe he was a schitzo it don't matter, for me he was at least in symbol an act of God telling people "look ur fucking it up, but i don't care anymore cuz i really just want to chill with you and yes, have you worship me." now a lot of humans are going wait worship? what's so great about God? well thats where some spins on life come in and its really hard to explain those (look in the archives i try all the time) but anyway, life is pretty sweet even when we are depressed and everything is shit the world is still fuckin unbelievable and really we all just forget that constantly, one reason we suck. but i guess most of us believe that there is a higher power of some sort not necessarily pulling strings or zapping shit with his kick ass lightning bolts or anything but something sort of looking out. We want to believe and honestly (at least for me) i think it helps make stuff all the more beautiful to believe that. So for me following in several million people footsteps, i was raised with some judeochristian beliefs and they seem to keep things rockin which is nice, and i also went out and tested that shit like mad and still do as much as possible cuz its good for ya.
(i will stop here for a sec to recap this babble)
Mike raised to believe in higher power, thinks its good, likes to think about it, yesterday was Easter, Jesus is a dude, who lived and died a while back, Jesus is a Jew, God says "look fuckers u suck, come dance with me."

got that? ok so Jesus was walking around preaching peace and love and maybe even a bit about a coming sword but i tend to believe that shit is beyond comprehension so screw that for now, but anyway Jesus pisses some people off cuz hes got all these dudes following him around and some local dudes in power don't like it so they execute him, and he knows its going to happen and he doesn't try to stop it.
So he dies. Yep hes dead as shit sitting up on some wood and people are going "hey what the fuck?"
so Jesus gets laid in this tomb and whether u believe this part of not, he comes back the day after the Sabbath (i believe) which is Sunday and he appears to some friends and he's like "yo i told u I'd be back where's my dinner?" and they give him his dinner and kiss and hug him and everything is coo for a month or so while he tells em how to live their lives and then they all go out all around the known world and u know the rest.

Why is the "Easter story" important? cuz i was thinking about it today and i was like seriously the God i believe in, this perfect being who created everything good I've ever known and ought to be praised and worshipped and all this stuff one day just decided, "hey u know what, "i care, i care enough to do some dirty work." now that's not just like some random guy who has to work a bit before the party this is like the rich dude who aint never had to work or been told to work, looking at his servant and saying "dude u don't have to do that, i can do it, u chill, I'll get the shit done and then we can veg out and have margaritas."
any of this making sense, are we at the "mike ive heard the damn story 4 times today already." point?

I dunno its weird how the more u let go of what ur holding onto and just let whatever come in the more it hits u how amazing life is.
to quote zach, and I will have to explain afterward but "i need more church in me."
and though I don't mean it how he did its good to have that relationship, bounce ideas off of and such.

whatever yall fuckers don't care but we be coo and i keep thanking God for yall and tellin him to watch ur backs.
peace and love and much respect to ya Taff