Well that hasn't happened in a while

I am totally going to regret this post at some point.
I have a crush, like a legitimate one, and its on another person who is totally unavailable and probably doesn't like me like that, but she has been really friendly to me. So, it feels good sometimes. And also horrible sometimes.
And in general I know this is setting myself up for disappointment because when I say she is unavailable, I mean it. But I've been trying to remind myself to use that energy, that feeling like things are possible to look around and see the world with that new light. Like maybe things are possible even in the dark.
She reminds me of other friends. Of people I miss because they are far away or too involved in their own lives. And it reminds me that I am capable of loving, that in fact I do love quite a lot of people, that they warm me still even though I sometimes forget.
It's funny how things like this happen. I met this person several months ago and knew from the first time that I wanted to be around her more, but as we've come to develop a few routines, started texting occasionally, hung out once, it became a reality I couldn't not admit to myself, because I was talking to her in my head all the time. And again, she is totally unavailable; like not a single possibility. But she lights up a bit sometimes when I am around, when other people are around too, but its nice to have someone spread a little of their love in my direction. And I can learn a lot from her, usually do... so why not enjoy the friendship? even if I know its a little hard sometimes. Even if I know it isn't a possibility. Even if I know at some point she will say something or I will, and it will be over forever, because at this point we barely know each other and there are so many differences easily recognized even at this distance, that to get too close surely means catching fire and burning the whole thing up. But again, why not enjoy the moment, why not enjoy the look in people's eyes, and acknowledge their smiles and just be comfy being confided in? Share a joke now and then? Flirt a little, because its safe, for her at least right? And I need a little warmth now and then.