First off, I am reading Xenocide the third in the Ender's Game series, and like the first two, it has definitely made me think about a lot of things. The second one, Speaker for the Dead was in some ways a pretty life changing book. This one, is not quite that mind blowing, but there are some wonderful elements so far and some great things to think about. Its hard to balance the equation between the mind expanding and value changing ideas found in the books vs the author who seems to be pretty much a tool. Some of the author's view points are based around his understanding of genetic continuation within humans through sexuality, a point brought up in the books, but that doesn't seem to be the way the situation is handled in the books... there seems to be a more "enlightened" view... anyway it was that exact point I was thinking about at 11:00 on a Friday night while I read in a coffee shop full of middle aged and older men, each of us alone at a separate table.
Some of the main characters(a brother and sister) in trying to help an alien species recognize that your genetic code doesn't control your life describe human history in its basics, evolutionarily there are different roles being played out. Men either act aggressively, spread their seed and conquer, or attempt to provide stable and supportive environments for their partners (sometimes a mix of both). Women sometimes seek out the aggressive males, and sometimes seek out the supportive males.
This is the sort of typical simplify to the mating habits approach... and yet none of us ever really think about it too much... in fact while the sister is describing it the brother becomes uncomfortable. He thinks "I have done both of these, but I don't choose to see myself in either way at the core..." he also realizes that though successful in both accounts (in the first book, he is the ultimate warrior, the second book the ultimate peacemaker), he has married, but never had his own children. He has helped raise his wife's children. He has a slight recognition that although he has fulfilled both of the ultimate roles in essence he has failed as a member of the species to pass on his genes... this doesn't cause him to fall apart, but its an odd moment to recognize... and I looked around the room at at least 6-7 men ranging from late 30s to 60s and wondered if they too had offered all they could, would continue to make societal contributions but perhaps not pass on their genes.
and I looked at the new barista the young skinny one that seemed to show up 2 weeks ago but already was part of the team... and wondered about how much of the "attraction" I felt to her or anyone in the room was based on genetics and how much was based on choice, or free will, or spirit, or intelligence. I always find the moments of raw simple evolutionary survival strategies to be uncomfortable... perhaps because regardless of whether I want to believe or act upon them... they are somewhat true? Maybe I am failing at my purpose... maybe I should have a promiscuous phase and see what comes of it.
I leave for Iceland on Monday. I am excited and suddenly a little scared. I feel like there is a lot to do, and a lot left undone. My room is a mess of semi-packed things ready to be transferred to a new home. If I die, most of my books are at Jareds... but thats about it.
If I die, go through all the writing and drawing and you will surely find out a little more about what I was. Or have your suspicions confirmed or rejected or made more complex.
I plan on doing a lot of writing and hopefully updating a few blogs and posting on the facebook.
If nothing else, there will be a lot of pictures I think... I am not sure what to expect from this half planned half assed trip. I have been reading a lot about Ireland, and watching movies and getting excited, but Iceland is kind of a mystery to me. A cold and rainy mystery if the weather report is to believed. I hope it doesn't rain the whole day and is more like a few minutes of rain then nothing... The pictures are going to be washed out I am guessing... better use some instagram shit.
My life is full and yet pretty empty of people. I spend more time with my Dad than anyone else lately. Doesn't feel bad, just not what I expected at this point in my life.
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