Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

I feel dumb.  I know this is just a passing feeling, its not all that powerful, its not all that extreme... I just feel like I screwed up on being what I should be.   
That's another thing right   "should" statements...
What did I do so wrong? Why is this... not what I want. Why am I not what I want...
too much fantasy and dreaming, and not enough being ok with reality.