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 Back in Minneapolis, 

I already feel anxious

as if the things I haven't started

can no longer be completed

so I have this desire to sneak them in,

like "the checks in the mail"

 trouble is, I forgot what bills are due

I know I have a limited time

I know the areas of life that seem important

but what are the tasks

trouble is, I don't know if I care

with freedom comes the recognition that 

a lot of what we think is important, 

is really self designated,

is really bullshit.

So what happens without a perfect plan?

and if I should forget a key point

and if i should stumble into new beginnings

and if I should find something more fulfilling

would it be ok to walk away?

am I destined to walk this self same path

I could wake up one day miserable

contemplate forever

 kiss it all goodbye, 

and see the same opportunities 

as today, with less time to pursue them

oh well

I need to find a new coffee shop, a new habit, a new drug as the song goes.

I would like to walk more and move to a new neighborhood every month

It would be pleasant to not be so frustrated with my family for their desire to celebrate holidays to the point it feels more like obligation

gonna go read some buddhism.  in yo face