Oh so tired...
Sorry about the bad breath Katie S, everyone seems to be a close talker lately.
I am exhausted, I didn't get much sleep this weekend. Staying up late and waking up early... my normal time to recuperate was not satisfied. I was feeling it today, after school I felt like I could fall asleep at our after school meeting.
Everything has been tense and hectic, like a potential fight around each corner at work.
Its mirrored in the staff, which is sad and not going to work, the 4 of us just work too well together to be hindered... and we all resent it.
SoT is going well, we all finally sat down for our leadership council to talk through what exactly the council is for, what we are responsible for and why these jobs need to get done. There is no way we will pick up all the pieces of what a paid organizer could do... but we will try to get some structure in place.
I am in charge of social media, outreach through it, training people into using it, and keeping things up to date.
I may have to start bringing my laptop to meetings so I can change things on the spot.
When I got home last night an old friend of a friend was here. It was really nice to see him. Hes still hilarious and goofy and kind of brilliant in a way that doesn't create a hierarchy. Anyway it was nice to recognize the existence in the flesh of a person that I sometimes wonder about.
Listening to Spirits of the Red City. Wondering who my next crush should be.
I wonder how often i mention crushes in conjunction with that band... like the ratio has got to be like 3/5 of the time. Funny I don even know em.
Work is so weird... its like you work and work and work and hope that things get better but they just get harder. When you do too much the students do too little, when they don't do enough you have to be more strict about what is acceptable.
I have a speaker coming tomorrow and its making me nervous. Its the last day of classes and one of them I am completely unprepared for. I told the students they all had to do a graphic novel (minimum one page), I tend to do one too, but my perfectionism is getting in my way. Whenever I do projects I try to show students an example of the kind of quality I am looking for... but sometimes I am just not feeling it.
I think its so weird... being exhausted at work... being totally stressed out, you would think I'd be preparing to relax over break... but today I started plotting different projects that I wanted to get done for work... like familiarizing myself with dreamweaver the software for the webpage, and finding someone to write a newsletter as an internship.
These are the kind of projects that make me feel like I accomplished something more than just the bare minimum... and lately I feel like we are barely getting by.
I'm sort of frustrated because there are these friends that have asked me to check in with them more often, but when I do I don't always get great responses... I don't always get responses at all. They say they miss me and want to be closer, but seem to be asking me to move in their direction instead of meeting together.
Really hard to know where to put the little amount of energy I have.
Laurel's retirement party was probably the best party I have ever been to.
I even talked to mr King, which is weird because I was under the impression we were going to ignore each others' presence for the rest of our lives.
Maybe Emily will come teach Japanese and I can invite one of our old students to come in and act as an assistant. We need more positive influence around school.
but yeah I am looking forward to a break... I want to read and draw, and write and feel like I can write...
I want to see some folks, play some games, feel like I have some energy and sleep... sleep and dream a whole bunch.
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