Right Right

My predecessor at work is a pretty interesting guy. Its hard because of the circumstances in which he was fired. Clearly he was going through some shit at the time. Clearly he had some power struggles with students/staff/management.
Its all been washed over as is possible in a school.
I was just checking out his website. He has a blog and some pictures and some speeches and things.
I am fascinated.
One of the posts was about his being let go. Clearly something he is still troubled with. Painted the current staff (who hired me) pretty poorly. I know them to be good people.
But what bothered me is the sentiments often repeated by students (who he is still in contact with) that the school would never recover its former glory. That it was dying.

As a teacher I sometimes wonder where the lines are. When talking politics I try to be fair. When talking history I try to be open about both my disdain and respect for long dead people.
I like to question students. I like to challenge them, but most have been challenged or are unready for the challenge. Some challenge me, which is really nice.
I know when I have been teaching for 30 years or... more than a few, that I will be a better teacher. But I also don't think I am letting them down right now. I think I am aware of where the majority of the students are... and that in fact, I might be spoon feeding them too much.

This school is supposed to be the wonder of the alternative system. In the past radical hippie types were self assured enough to tell students there was a better way. I am not so self assured, nor am I willing to concede that there is no middle ground or gray area. It makes it hard to push in one direction. I need time to develop a curriculum of amazement. I need time to develop a push for critical thinking.
I need time to develop relationships. To delve further. I need to push. But I am not there yet. This is the problem with the inexperienced. They are standing up, not dancing or jumping or whatever it is that the experienced do.

Sometimes I like the idea of being at this school for 30 years. But I also see many problems with that idea. Money and relationships being the only two that actually make me think.
I'd love to be the next old man who commands respect without asking for it. But for now I am the college boy who is asking for comments on the reading.