On Sex (again)

Sex is such a ridiculous thing.
I watched this movie called Sex and Breakfast last night. It is about two young couples who are experiencing trouble in their relationship, and both assume it is a lack of exciting sex that is the problem. One couple is having a hard time getting off, the other is just bored, not necessarily with each other but with a sex life that has become standard. They go to a group sex therapist, who recommends that they work their problems out with another couple (through intimacy). This is clearly a bad idea for one of the couples and the therapist would have seen that. The other couple expresses some pretty strong doubts, as well as some jealousy issues the day before and the morning before their experiment.

Anyway... in the end, the couple who didn't match, end up breaking up. The other decides that they are ok with just each other.

I couldn't even watch the "sex scene" (I don't think there was nudity in the movie) but it was just too awful to watch two couples being pushed into something that was primarily jealousy driven.

Throughout the movie I became more opinionated about my own beliefs on the subject -which is that, it may work for some people, but that is a limited group of people, who are probably very mature, open and on the same page in terms of desires and comfort level with each other.

I have never been in a relationship that I wanted to share the other person in that way, I probably never will be. -Now that could be taken as a slightly sort of misogynist statement, as if I have the right/power to share or not share, I think it is more about the choices people make... if someone I cared about made such a choice, I would have a hard time trusting them... thus I would probably not be in that relationship very long.

On the other hand...
Most people I know are in some way desiring sex/intimacy. Those in relationships (of all kinds) tend to be working out their desires with their partners, negotiating the boundaries of what they do and don't like, and in what cases they are and are not willing to.
Those without, are either seeking, or not seeking for various reasons.
but isn't it funny that we all have this drive, that so many of us are not pursuing, even when we could be?
A quick run through craigslist shows people of all types and all desires are available.
How many of us will spend a quarter or half our lives with out this aspect of our life being "fulfilled" because of social taboos, because of lack of partner, because of self confidence issues, because of our ideas about what is and should be acceptable, because we are unwilling or maybe too willing to give out this part of us, because we are holding out for "the right person" or "the right situation."
At school in our sex ed class we are exploring a lot of aspects of sex/gender and sexual orientation. It reminds me of all the historical and cultural beliefs I have learned about... it reminds me of the thousands of years humans have been having sex in every single variation.
It reminds me that humanity is not sex, but without sex humanity would be non-existent. It reminds me that pleasure is necessary for survival as well as a driving force in most human aspects of life.
Of course all this also reminds me that I am not doing any of this, and though I can count off the half of my friends who are in the same boat, my mind tends to focus more on the other half, who's ideas of love, sex and intimacy (no better or worse than mine) are different enough that they are finding fulfillment in this area, whether the other aspects of their relationship are fulfilling or not.
Of course all of this is based on ideas and not solid evidence.
Anyway.... thats what I have been thinking about.



Also I thought Burn After Reading was hilarious.