Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

(heres some dramatic bs)

words alone, never could save us.


wow i just got so sad. something about reading old letters from loved ones, remember fondly meeting and enjoying some one new, that falling feeling in all its scary vulnerability. "that first night" maybe its just this song.




I think im gonna need to run away soon... or I might be lost again, and that seems a strange contradiction... but I usually find what i need the moment I leave, turn around and am some how able to hug even more people.


Some days I think about the relationships I have had, and regret how quickly I said I loved them, when really I was saying I would... and I did, but it wasnt till the trials, when I realized how much I wanted to give and often couldnt. Its not the vulnerability that makes you love someone, its not being open, its having them rip something from you without meaning to, and instead of drawing up inside yourself... you reach out to give them anything left, assuming, trusting that they know you well enough to know whats good for you. The assumption that they will do the right thing- based not on their current state, your past or theirs, not their troubles, their hectic life, but because you know were the situation reversed you would do everything in your power to let them know they were loved -and if thats not how they feel.... well you'd rather face that hard conclusion than not have trusted.

Sometimes life does get in the way though, sometimes they are too hurt, or you are to do it right... thats ok. Sometimes its just the situation, or the conflict of interests or the differences in personality... thats ok... thats heart break... thats good for you. but personally... I won't ever assume i'll ever be over it. when random words or pictures or memories or smells or touching makes me cry unexpectedly... well thats a tear to smile for.