Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Socially ignant/foolish

I find myself in conversations lately doing the things that people are telling me they find irritating. Becky tried to tell me this many times and I got defensive, but realized she was right. Its just hard to change over night, i gotta learn to listen again. A certain friend of mine said shes no good with people anymore and yet people smile everytime they see she is working and her fellow employees beg for the opportunity to work shifts with her (or at least it seems that way) she would say she just works hard, but its more than that its the inner her yelling out, through "hey what can i get you today?"s hugs that mean something...

So I too cannot listen...
It was sad cuz Gabs was telling me about some cats she found frustrating and then described what i had been like in the hour of conversation before that. Then later with some other cats I found myself comparing and competing unnecesarily, and when i tried to stop the words would come out of my mouth with out me even thinking about them. they had the key to unlock the door i put up. its weird, i dont know if anyone but becky has noticed and maybe it takes someone so close to realize im straying down the wrong road, and im glad that she calls out to tell me to turn around or cut through the grass to get back on track.

I have weird fascinations with people from relationships that didnt pan out and werent ended properly. I also have extreme guilt and fear of meeting/seeing these people and its incredibly sad. I saw nick hanson last night at uptown express and he had two friends with him and looked really happy and it was so awesome but i couldnt even smile his way cuz i havent talked to that kid in years and even then didnt have a real conversation but i went to one of his birthday parties to the mn zoo and they got me dairy queeen and he was always overly nice...Im glad he seemed happy, im sorry i didnt say hi.

Me and gabs saw this movie (cant remember the title) about the union strike at ilver creek New Mexico and about half way into the movie I realized I had read an article in one of my women studies classes about the strike and how the community dealt with it, before during afterword, cuz the women basically end up doing as much work as the men and there is all sorts of social role reversal for awhile which hurts the guys egos.... etc.

you do the math im a weirdo.