The one previous is a women's studies paper i wrote a little while ago. The assignment was in regards to a book of feminists essays and studies and shit. thoughts?
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
The Reality of False Consciousness
“Karl Marx used the term false consciousness to describe the class consciousness of subordinate classes who had internalized the view of the dominant class” (Andersen and Taylor 194). Marx uses this term describing how a dominant group in society can pervert the causes of the subordinate groups by turning them on themselves. In war, this would be similar to a “divide and conquer” strategy, and in class we have referred to similar situations as a double bind. I understand that this is not specifically a sociology class, or a socialist or political theorist class, but I feel that the term could be easily accepted when looking at the issues that surround the women’s rights movement today. Some of these issues being the double bind in sexuality, beauty and the female body image, career choices for women, and in violence against women. The method of persuasion seems to be socialization, which is the education of people into roles that accept this patriarchal view, something that often occurs early in life through family and schooling, and then later through peers and the media. Several of the essays in the book give clear testimonies of both the pervasiveness of the patriarchal system and observations and suggestions as to how to surmount it, the most common and obvious suggestions being to unite against the force of the dominant power. After discussing the ways in which the dominant power of our society infiltrates and persuades people on these issues through socialization, I will try to incorporate some ideas I think would be helpful in removing society from this false consciousness.
One of the biggest struggles for change within the women’s rights movement is and has always been the way society views the female form which continues to exist because of the double binds placed on women. A human’s body is essentially directly attached to that human’s self worth and this has been a powerful tool in many societies to control women. In many cultures this is displayed through the confinement of women in the home, in separate places, behind clothes, make up or hair styles. This struggle also includes the exploitation of women for work, sex, and power. Steven Schacht records some of this in his list of male privileges, parts of numbers 4 through 12 and more all include talk of women being obligated by society to buy clothes and makeup to cover up their bodies, be used as entertainment for men, be available for abuse and yet be responsible to bear the burden of children, all because the dominant power has chosen this burden for women. These tasks keep women from standing up to men because not only must they fulfill these roles in order to be respected by the men, but also men have convinced many women that they must fulfill these roles in order to be respected by other women. Jenny’s book on “sluts” for instance, is an example where a woman who is comfortable with her body may be treated as an outcast by other women because she does not fit the dominant power’s role for women. Many women fearing backlash for being different then feel compelled to act “feminine,” in some cases leading to what many feminists consider exploitation. This view is not always considered exploitation because some feminists promote the use of traditional “feminine” qualities such as dress and make up wearing so as to find what they regard to be the traditional and proper place for women. bell hooks discusses several of the ways the standard of women’s sexuality has been exploited. One example she uses is that of Tina Turner, a famous singer who’s stage persona was created by a man who was abusing her. Turner, who eventually broke away from her abusive husband is left wondering what role to play, and decides to try and take the same stage persona she once had declaring it hers. hooks insists this is just giving into the society and that Turner by accepting the role given to her, is perpetuating the control men have over women’s bodies. All of these disagreements in themselves show the influence of false consciousness, as the opposing views leave them criticizing each other rather than the dominant power that put them into the situation. In class we discuss the same topic, is selling sex appeal taking the feminist stance, or is winning without the use of this traditionally exploited piece of humanity the feminist way? This question comes up in another field of study for feminists, that of the job market.
Throughout history women have had a significant role in the labor of societies, however due to the patriarchy of these societies they are rarely given credit. It was not until very recently that a notion of women staying home entirely for the sake of taking care of children became popular, and then, only for the middle and upper classes. This way of life did however have a profound impact on the way of life in the United States to the extent that even now, though it is nearly impossible for a family to live on a single income, it is still prevalent as a possible “ideal” situation for a portion of US citizens. The problem is that this portion, though not making up the majority, does seem to have a good deal of impact on the rest of society. So though it is very hard for women to support their families without working there is still blame placed on parents and more specifically women because they are not there to play the role of care taker for their children. This double bind leaves women with a dilemma, they are supposed to work, and they are supposed to stay home. To make matters worse, the patriarchal society makes the jobs that women can have subordinate to the positions men can have. Padavic and Reskin call this the “glass ceiling effect,” women provide the labor while men make up the administration and thus the higher paying jobs. Women are not expected and rarely supported in moving up the corporate ladder, which means they are seldom found in the top administrative roles. This stratification in jobs coupled with the fact that there is still sexism within the workplace and within the payroll leaves women significantly worse off than their male peers. Recent studies show women make about seventy cents for every dollar a man makes. Bose and Bridges Whaley show that women also tend to be more accepted in careers that are deemed feminine or “pink collar” such as teacher or nurse, jobs that are extremely important but also extremely underappreciated. Once again these examples show that double binds placed on women keep them from confronting the dominant power. This sort of prejudice, though blatantly obvious when looking at numbers is rarely so clear in actual situations. Unlike in the past the prejudice of today is quite subtle as Diane Lopez pointed out, and makes the task for equality that much harder.
One way in which this prejudice seems extremely obvious is the way in which women are treated, and the violence against women in the world. Violence takes many different forms, from nasty jokes told on smoke breaks at work, to mass media coverage of a staged violent undressing of a pop star, to the mass rapes that occur during war and unrest. The violence against women seems to stem from the insecurity of men, and sometimes other women. Men’s insecurity may come from the fact that men are supposed to be playing the role of being superior, where as in reality they understand that they can not fulfill this role and so must try to maintain at least the facade through dominance. The essay on fraternities shows a side of this, where men go through trials to prove themselves superior to others, but end up doing things that only display their ignorance, intolerance and immaturity. Sometimes this is taken to the extreme and people get hurt, but one could argue that the whole concept of an organization who trains young people to become hyper masculine, obedient, and intolerant is a formula for violence. A similar insecurity is displayed through women who use violence against themselves such as is the case with many eating disorders and in those who cut themselves, which are displays of power seen more often as “feminine.” These acts are often also associated with the inability to cope with an unobtainable ideal. Another double bind concerning women in regards to violence is visible from reports of a woman who is victimized late at night, while by herself or while intoxicated. “She shouldn’t have been there, done that or had that to drink,” are common rebuttals to such news. This seems silly considering everyone in this country is supposed to be guaranteed the right to walk around, be by themselves, or have a drink. So somehow, because the victim is a woman all of a sudden she is to blame. The dominant powers must have their subordinates under control if they can keep the blame off themselves and put it on to the victim of a horrible crime. In order to change these double binds we must first understand how they were set in place.
In every society there is natural process of socialization, a term meaning the normal process of learning social patterns, roles and processes which is where the false consciousness begins. As we learned from Barrie Thorne and Michael Kimmel and Barbara Risman boys and girls are raised differently with different expectations for each. Boys are often taught to be tough, independent, unemotional, confident, competitive and driven to succeed. Men are supposed to grow up to be powerful and wealthy, regardless of the cost. Girls, or good girls as we are told by the results Simmons (Odd Girl Out) found straight from the mouths of young girls are to be “thin, pretty, blond, helpless, dependent, and stupid,” or basically subordinate to their male counterparts. It is with this foundation and the subsequent years of the media pounding reminders of this into people that men are able to exploit women through sexuality and body image, keep them from obtaining good jobs and treat them as less than human through violent acts.
When confronted with all these situations in which there seems to be no option it is hard to maintain faith in a movement. That is, until one looks at a greater picture. The answer to any double bind is simple; get those affected by them to stand up to them. The false consciousness is charade the dominant power hopes to keep the subordinates believing. By uniting those who are in favor of a new way, in which people are equal, there would be a new majority. Michael Moore a leftist political writer wrote in his last book that if the minorities, meaning those who are not white males, would stand up as one front they could win every political race no contest. That means they could have females in every head office in the nation. Now this may seem a little far fetched so here is another option, instead of fighting the white man, why not get him to join the cause by forcing him to see it from the position of the minority? The gender training that boys receive often allows them to ignore or be oblivious to the positions of others, so in all issues the movement has to put it into their terms. Instead of just some woman out there being victimized make it clear that it could be their sister. Instead of allowing rich white men to maintain large fortunes while others suffer, increase taxes on them so that they feel they are suffering too. These are small things but necessary nonetheless for without the dominant power backing the movement, true equality will never exist. Through the unification of subordinates, or the inclusion of the dominate powers in the struggle against the false consciousness, or both, the binding system can be dissolved.
Andersen, Margaret L. and Howard F. Taylor. Sociology: The Essentials. 2003.
“Karl Marx used the term false consciousness to describe the class consciousness of subordinate classes who had internalized the view of the dominant class” (Andersen and Taylor 194). Marx uses this term describing how a dominant group in society can pervert the causes of the subordinate groups by turning them on themselves. In war, this would be similar to a “divide and conquer” strategy, and in class we have referred to similar situations as a double bind. I understand that this is not specifically a sociology class, or a socialist or political theorist class, but I feel that the term could be easily accepted when looking at the issues that surround the women’s rights movement today. Some of these issues being the double bind in sexuality, beauty and the female body image, career choices for women, and in violence against women. The method of persuasion seems to be socialization, which is the education of people into roles that accept this patriarchal view, something that often occurs early in life through family and schooling, and then later through peers and the media. Several of the essays in the book give clear testimonies of both the pervasiveness of the patriarchal system and observations and suggestions as to how to surmount it, the most common and obvious suggestions being to unite against the force of the dominant power. After discussing the ways in which the dominant power of our society infiltrates and persuades people on these issues through socialization, I will try to incorporate some ideas I think would be helpful in removing society from this false consciousness.
One of the biggest struggles for change within the women’s rights movement is and has always been the way society views the female form which continues to exist because of the double binds placed on women. A human’s body is essentially directly attached to that human’s self worth and this has been a powerful tool in many societies to control women. In many cultures this is displayed through the confinement of women in the home, in separate places, behind clothes, make up or hair styles. This struggle also includes the exploitation of women for work, sex, and power. Steven Schacht records some of this in his list of male privileges, parts of numbers 4 through 12 and more all include talk of women being obligated by society to buy clothes and makeup to cover up their bodies, be used as entertainment for men, be available for abuse and yet be responsible to bear the burden of children, all because the dominant power has chosen this burden for women. These tasks keep women from standing up to men because not only must they fulfill these roles in order to be respected by the men, but also men have convinced many women that they must fulfill these roles in order to be respected by other women. Jenny’s book on “sluts” for instance, is an example where a woman who is comfortable with her body may be treated as an outcast by other women because she does not fit the dominant power’s role for women. Many women fearing backlash for being different then feel compelled to act “feminine,” in some cases leading to what many feminists consider exploitation. This view is not always considered exploitation because some feminists promote the use of traditional “feminine” qualities such as dress and make up wearing so as to find what they regard to be the traditional and proper place for women. bell hooks discusses several of the ways the standard of women’s sexuality has been exploited. One example she uses is that of Tina Turner, a famous singer who’s stage persona was created by a man who was abusing her. Turner, who eventually broke away from her abusive husband is left wondering what role to play, and decides to try and take the same stage persona she once had declaring it hers. hooks insists this is just giving into the society and that Turner by accepting the role given to her, is perpetuating the control men have over women’s bodies. All of these disagreements in themselves show the influence of false consciousness, as the opposing views leave them criticizing each other rather than the dominant power that put them into the situation. In class we discuss the same topic, is selling sex appeal taking the feminist stance, or is winning without the use of this traditionally exploited piece of humanity the feminist way? This question comes up in another field of study for feminists, that of the job market.
Throughout history women have had a significant role in the labor of societies, however due to the patriarchy of these societies they are rarely given credit. It was not until very recently that a notion of women staying home entirely for the sake of taking care of children became popular, and then, only for the middle and upper classes. This way of life did however have a profound impact on the way of life in the United States to the extent that even now, though it is nearly impossible for a family to live on a single income, it is still prevalent as a possible “ideal” situation for a portion of US citizens. The problem is that this portion, though not making up the majority, does seem to have a good deal of impact on the rest of society. So though it is very hard for women to support their families without working there is still blame placed on parents and more specifically women because they are not there to play the role of care taker for their children. This double bind leaves women with a dilemma, they are supposed to work, and they are supposed to stay home. To make matters worse, the patriarchal society makes the jobs that women can have subordinate to the positions men can have. Padavic and Reskin call this the “glass ceiling effect,” women provide the labor while men make up the administration and thus the higher paying jobs. Women are not expected and rarely supported in moving up the corporate ladder, which means they are seldom found in the top administrative roles. This stratification in jobs coupled with the fact that there is still sexism within the workplace and within the payroll leaves women significantly worse off than their male peers. Recent studies show women make about seventy cents for every dollar a man makes. Bose and Bridges Whaley show that women also tend to be more accepted in careers that are deemed feminine or “pink collar” such as teacher or nurse, jobs that are extremely important but also extremely underappreciated. Once again these examples show that double binds placed on women keep them from confronting the dominant power. This sort of prejudice, though blatantly obvious when looking at numbers is rarely so clear in actual situations. Unlike in the past the prejudice of today is quite subtle as Diane Lopez pointed out, and makes the task for equality that much harder.
One way in which this prejudice seems extremely obvious is the way in which women are treated, and the violence against women in the world. Violence takes many different forms, from nasty jokes told on smoke breaks at work, to mass media coverage of a staged violent undressing of a pop star, to the mass rapes that occur during war and unrest. The violence against women seems to stem from the insecurity of men, and sometimes other women. Men’s insecurity may come from the fact that men are supposed to be playing the role of being superior, where as in reality they understand that they can not fulfill this role and so must try to maintain at least the facade through dominance. The essay on fraternities shows a side of this, where men go through trials to prove themselves superior to others, but end up doing things that only display their ignorance, intolerance and immaturity. Sometimes this is taken to the extreme and people get hurt, but one could argue that the whole concept of an organization who trains young people to become hyper masculine, obedient, and intolerant is a formula for violence. A similar insecurity is displayed through women who use violence against themselves such as is the case with many eating disorders and in those who cut themselves, which are displays of power seen more often as “feminine.” These acts are often also associated with the inability to cope with an unobtainable ideal. Another double bind concerning women in regards to violence is visible from reports of a woman who is victimized late at night, while by herself or while intoxicated. “She shouldn’t have been there, done that or had that to drink,” are common rebuttals to such news. This seems silly considering everyone in this country is supposed to be guaranteed the right to walk around, be by themselves, or have a drink. So somehow, because the victim is a woman all of a sudden she is to blame. The dominant powers must have their subordinates under control if they can keep the blame off themselves and put it on to the victim of a horrible crime. In order to change these double binds we must first understand how they were set in place.
In every society there is natural process of socialization, a term meaning the normal process of learning social patterns, roles and processes which is where the false consciousness begins. As we learned from Barrie Thorne and Michael Kimmel and Barbara Risman boys and girls are raised differently with different expectations for each. Boys are often taught to be tough, independent, unemotional, confident, competitive and driven to succeed. Men are supposed to grow up to be powerful and wealthy, regardless of the cost. Girls, or good girls as we are told by the results Simmons (Odd Girl Out) found straight from the mouths of young girls are to be “thin, pretty, blond, helpless, dependent, and stupid,” or basically subordinate to their male counterparts. It is with this foundation and the subsequent years of the media pounding reminders of this into people that men are able to exploit women through sexuality and body image, keep them from obtaining good jobs and treat them as less than human through violent acts.
When confronted with all these situations in which there seems to be no option it is hard to maintain faith in a movement. That is, until one looks at a greater picture. The answer to any double bind is simple; get those affected by them to stand up to them. The false consciousness is charade the dominant power hopes to keep the subordinates believing. By uniting those who are in favor of a new way, in which people are equal, there would be a new majority. Michael Moore a leftist political writer wrote in his last book that if the minorities, meaning those who are not white males, would stand up as one front they could win every political race no contest. That means they could have females in every head office in the nation. Now this may seem a little far fetched so here is another option, instead of fighting the white man, why not get him to join the cause by forcing him to see it from the position of the minority? The gender training that boys receive often allows them to ignore or be oblivious to the positions of others, so in all issues the movement has to put it into their terms. Instead of just some woman out there being victimized make it clear that it could be their sister. Instead of allowing rich white men to maintain large fortunes while others suffer, increase taxes on them so that they feel they are suffering too. These are small things but necessary nonetheless for without the dominant power backing the movement, true equality will never exist. Through the unification of subordinates, or the inclusion of the dominate powers in the struggle against the false consciousness, or both, the binding system can be dissolved.
Andersen, Margaret L. and Howard F. Taylor. Sociology: The Essentials. 2003.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
the olde english site has been updated, and i tim i will eventually get around to taking those down, but for now i sort of like the reminder of what once was. Besides i dont think anyone checks out my links, they are more there for the show of it all. apparently im a showman, and this is the song and dance.
I use to have hobbies
bred out of solitude, long studies of form, lyric, tunes and day dreams. I find myself inactive and dislike it and look back and find myself inactive and dislike that. I returned from history a class i slept in, the day is hot and i had a coat more out of habbit than need, and i had a bag more out of laziness and irresponsibility than need and i had a long walk through campus, and by long i mean a 15th of what i would have walked in a day in europe. I am tired and i havent slept enough and yet i sleep and do nothing all day so what wastes this energy away? I use to have hobbies i rarely practice now, i use to have friends, i think about them often and try to think up reasons to call or write and cant think of any worthy of action. i miss their voices, i miss their stories and thoughts and its hard to pick up the phone and say " tell me about you" especially when u have to schedule it between scheduled events and those that happen at random all the time around here. It will be the same thing next year. how do i know? 13 of 22 of us are staying. 13 thousand more conversations i havent become bored with yet. I like that and it gives me some nice happy hope for the future though i wonder what would happen if becky and I broke up. the thought hasnt occurred to me for this year. Im quite happy. but the what ifs? in the long run and the long run is what i become tired with these days. I feel like things are going well and lack the ambition to make them better. lack the trust in myself or the world to dial a number, lack the imagination to see, wish on things that wont be. With sprind will change come? its warm out. Becky is riding her horse to a park to have a picnic, others are playing frisbee, lounging around in the sun, dancing, hackin, talkin joking and laughing. Im sitting imagining the way my life looks from the outside apparently not to happy with the way it feels on the inside.
bred out of solitude, long studies of form, lyric, tunes and day dreams. I find myself inactive and dislike it and look back and find myself inactive and dislike that. I returned from history a class i slept in, the day is hot and i had a coat more out of habbit than need, and i had a bag more out of laziness and irresponsibility than need and i had a long walk through campus, and by long i mean a 15th of what i would have walked in a day in europe. I am tired and i havent slept enough and yet i sleep and do nothing all day so what wastes this energy away? I use to have hobbies i rarely practice now, i use to have friends, i think about them often and try to think up reasons to call or write and cant think of any worthy of action. i miss their voices, i miss their stories and thoughts and its hard to pick up the phone and say " tell me about you" especially when u have to schedule it between scheduled events and those that happen at random all the time around here. It will be the same thing next year. how do i know? 13 of 22 of us are staying. 13 thousand more conversations i havent become bored with yet. I like that and it gives me some nice happy hope for the future though i wonder what would happen if becky and I broke up. the thought hasnt occurred to me for this year. Im quite happy. but the what ifs? in the long run and the long run is what i become tired with these days. I feel like things are going well and lack the ambition to make them better. lack the trust in myself or the world to dial a number, lack the imagination to see, wish on things that wont be. With sprind will change come? its warm out. Becky is riding her horse to a park to have a picnic, others are playing frisbee, lounging around in the sun, dancing, hackin, talkin joking and laughing. Im sitting imagining the way my life looks from the outside apparently not to happy with the way it feels on the inside.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I posted the following sometime in september, wrote it a while before. yesterday while reading for my women's studies class i found it to be quite interpretative about how men feel about women. not so much admitted or even in the individual's reality but rather as a culture dominated by men who instill this sort of education on people. (im talking about the quoted section)
Simplicity ran around, wild through the streets, lifting her skirt and showing young boys the wonders of nature, then running away before they could leap on it. I suppose in this I both loved and worried about her. Spent constant hours trying to find her in the dead of night, summer and winter alike, putting off piles of homework, studies, and all they said I would need in life just to find her gentle arms. They taught the nature of taming the temptress, progress was her tears, her screams against the slavery the feeling of guilt we would have instilled in her.
"Shame her, disgrace her, watch as she draws ever closer to you in civility and abandons her pagan beliefs. The crow and squirrel drones to the coin, the light of a shiny new car catches the eye of any passing deer. Make simplicity say "dear" to you and you have simplicity caught and bound and never to let go, and the captured bird will be well worth the struggle the fight for her. Buy simplicity a drink but make her sip next to you in the bar, instead of wandering the streets of night. That way you wont have to worry, wont struggle anymore, wont find yourself in rage and jealousy wont find displeasure in the pleasure of those who have chained her. Or spend the night in madness looking for her in the jungle, the alley, the bathroom at the tavern, the couch of your cousin's mate. Spit up your food in Lhasa, Jerusalem, she wont find your spirituality smooth at all. She finds farming hysterically funny, camping in the woods a mysterious self made hardship. Your fisherman's village and quiet desert town, lose their charm too quick to keep her there long. Your idealism is hell, if happiness is found with her, than make her your whore. Taint and devour, toss when its old or less of flavor and buy a new one."
Yet as she dances across the street, this nymph who is so unafraid of yellow taxis. Who's warmth turns each little hair on every man and woman's skin so gently to her, like fall flowers in the sun grasping for one more spring time fling. She with stamina so great all young poets and adventurers have to stop for breath a dozen times during the chase, all to give up for the night, lonely and cold. She who's beauty alone brings joy, and anger, and exhaustion, and pride, and embarrassment, and all the world's feelings combined in a second, who leaves one smiling and crying and frustrated night after night. As I see her escape me again, above all these thoughts and feelings, is the passion the desire to keep going, the urge to live on. In the pleasure of pursuit one can learn to love all the things that give him the strength to pursue. She shows you the life of the world with each passing glance as she guides you through it, her warmth its love, her freedom its true beautiful state.
**************************************************
also while looking for this i was struck with the beauty of several other things i have written... i wonder where that went.
I was talking to becky and told her i think i dont blog as much cuz i bitch and moan and get excited and rant to her rather than this audience.
either way i will try to write more. and call some folks. aimee i was on break so i didnt get ur message until yesterday and then fell asleep, maybe tonight eh?
Simplicity ran around, wild through the streets, lifting her skirt and showing young boys the wonders of nature, then running away before they could leap on it. I suppose in this I both loved and worried about her. Spent constant hours trying to find her in the dead of night, summer and winter alike, putting off piles of homework, studies, and all they said I would need in life just to find her gentle arms. They taught the nature of taming the temptress, progress was her tears, her screams against the slavery the feeling of guilt we would have instilled in her.
"Shame her, disgrace her, watch as she draws ever closer to you in civility and abandons her pagan beliefs. The crow and squirrel drones to the coin, the light of a shiny new car catches the eye of any passing deer. Make simplicity say "dear" to you and you have simplicity caught and bound and never to let go, and the captured bird will be well worth the struggle the fight for her. Buy simplicity a drink but make her sip next to you in the bar, instead of wandering the streets of night. That way you wont have to worry, wont struggle anymore, wont find yourself in rage and jealousy wont find displeasure in the pleasure of those who have chained her. Or spend the night in madness looking for her in the jungle, the alley, the bathroom at the tavern, the couch of your cousin's mate. Spit up your food in Lhasa, Jerusalem, she wont find your spirituality smooth at all. She finds farming hysterically funny, camping in the woods a mysterious self made hardship. Your fisherman's village and quiet desert town, lose their charm too quick to keep her there long. Your idealism is hell, if happiness is found with her, than make her your whore. Taint and devour, toss when its old or less of flavor and buy a new one."
Yet as she dances across the street, this nymph who is so unafraid of yellow taxis. Who's warmth turns each little hair on every man and woman's skin so gently to her, like fall flowers in the sun grasping for one more spring time fling. She with stamina so great all young poets and adventurers have to stop for breath a dozen times during the chase, all to give up for the night, lonely and cold. She who's beauty alone brings joy, and anger, and exhaustion, and pride, and embarrassment, and all the world's feelings combined in a second, who leaves one smiling and crying and frustrated night after night. As I see her escape me again, above all these thoughts and feelings, is the passion the desire to keep going, the urge to live on. In the pleasure of pursuit one can learn to love all the things that give him the strength to pursue. She shows you the life of the world with each passing glance as she guides you through it, her warmth its love, her freedom its true beautiful state.
**************************************************
also while looking for this i was struck with the beauty of several other things i have written... i wonder where that went.
I was talking to becky and told her i think i dont blog as much cuz i bitch and moan and get excited and rant to her rather than this audience.
either way i will try to write more. and call some folks. aimee i was on break so i didnt get ur message until yesterday and then fell asleep, maybe tonight eh?
Sunday, March 14, 2004
My dad and I went to perkins for a last minute breakfast before i went back to morris. He wrote a check for the food and as we were walking out the man asked "your name is ha--ar?"
Yea
"mine is the same"
he then told us how he changed it to hager (a common spelling, but originally it was hajjar as ours was) this is was interesting.
He asked us about our family, where we came from, when.
Lebanon, early 19teens, to south dakota. we asked about his. lebanon early 1900s north dakota. with intermittant return trips. (he was born in lebanon, came to the US 15 years ago)
some more chat
my dad couldnt remember what city we were from and he was later so we ran off. My dad joked "maybe you should have me over for some lebanese cooking." (he had said that they still cooked) the guy was about to write down the number, when my dad walked out. (i thought it was really sad that my dad (being a full american now) wouldnt take the guy up on it cuz americans arent really friendly. blah blah blah
strange though
i told my dad i had been wondering when we lost our culture. my great grandma came here when she was 14 and I didnt know i was lebanese (or what that was) until i was probably like 12.
Yea
"mine is the same"
he then told us how he changed it to hager (a common spelling, but originally it was hajjar as ours was) this is was interesting.
He asked us about our family, where we came from, when.
Lebanon, early 19teens, to south dakota. we asked about his. lebanon early 1900s north dakota. with intermittant return trips. (he was born in lebanon, came to the US 15 years ago)
some more chat
my dad couldnt remember what city we were from and he was later so we ran off. My dad joked "maybe you should have me over for some lebanese cooking." (he had said that they still cooked) the guy was about to write down the number, when my dad walked out. (i thought it was really sad that my dad (being a full american now) wouldnt take the guy up on it cuz americans arent really friendly. blah blah blah
strange though
i told my dad i had been wondering when we lost our culture. my great grandma came here when she was 14 and I didnt know i was lebanese (or what that was) until i was probably like 12.
Friday, March 12, 2004
tomorrow about half the shit in my house (or more) is going to the new house it st. paul. I dont know how i feel about that
we went to colorado, i think becky had a good time and i certainly had a lot of fun. we painted pete's bar all crazy like, i got some pictures so that will be fun. the ride home sucked balls, too long and too tired.
im sposed to be relaxing now since i have to help move early manana.
this break has gone by way quick.
this summer there will be no one around and that will suck
we went to colorado, i think becky had a good time and i certainly had a lot of fun. we painted pete's bar all crazy like, i got some pictures so that will be fun. the ride home sucked balls, too long and too tired.
im sposed to be relaxing now since i have to help move early manana.
this break has gone by way quick.
this summer there will be no one around and that will suck
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Thursday, March 04, 2004
tomorrow is the last day of school before spring break, i have one class, and a paper for another class. on the syllabus for the class with the paper, it says turn in paper no dicussion, lecture, quiz, or homework. This leads me to believe there is no class. so i will not be attending.
me and becky are planning on going to see pete. Nick and foulkes were supposed to go as well, but dont have any cash. This is typical of them, last minute drop out. Somewhat disappointing. I have been playing civ here, and watching late night episodes of south park online.
I worry i will get frustrated with becky on the trip and be mean to her, causing disfunction. this is not typical of me being around her for long periods of time, but rather me being frustrated with people when around them for long periods of time. she is a person. i worry.
We are trying to come up with some way of discussing issues that relate to women, such as and specifially body image problems. This is in the hopes of starting some regular discussion but we all fear it will go up in flames.
i feel tired, i feel like im a robot right now.
hmmm some cats including my girl are starting a step squad.
im looking forward to down time at home, after boulder.
me and becky are planning on going to see pete. Nick and foulkes were supposed to go as well, but dont have any cash. This is typical of them, last minute drop out. Somewhat disappointing. I have been playing civ here, and watching late night episodes of south park online.
I worry i will get frustrated with becky on the trip and be mean to her, causing disfunction. this is not typical of me being around her for long periods of time, but rather me being frustrated with people when around them for long periods of time. she is a person. i worry.
We are trying to come up with some way of discussing issues that relate to women, such as and specifially body image problems. This is in the hopes of starting some regular discussion but we all fear it will go up in flames.
i feel tired, i feel like im a robot right now.
hmmm some cats including my girl are starting a step squad.
im looking forward to down time at home, after boulder.
Monday, March 01, 2004
zach galifianakis
i suck at updating its been like a week right?
lets see, went to to jazz concerts, had a couple of all nighters, went to alexandria to see the passion of the christ, which i didnt like. almost got kicked out of a perkins. Thinking of buying a digital. everyone is on that time of the month. went to a couple of concerts this weekend, the local bands, including a band tim is in, they are pretty cool. dont sound anything like mu maker but remind me of them when in concert cuz there are like 9 guys and they have a good time on stage.
hmmm civ 3 has become the latest obsession on my floor, which i have of course been encouraging, but uh i dont have the means to play here yet. i can say for a fact i am the best player so far
i suck at updating its been like a week right?
lets see, went to to jazz concerts, had a couple of all nighters, went to alexandria to see the passion of the christ, which i didnt like. almost got kicked out of a perkins. Thinking of buying a digital. everyone is on that time of the month. went to a couple of concerts this weekend, the local bands, including a band tim is in, they are pretty cool. dont sound anything like mu maker but remind me of them when in concert cuz there are like 9 guys and they have a good time on stage.
hmmm civ 3 has become the latest obsession on my floor, which i have of course been encouraging, but uh i dont have the means to play here yet. i can say for a fact i am the best player so far
