Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

curtesy of raizin of Oldeenglish (he doesnt know)

Some Really Bad Jokes
1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve
food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not
unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you." said
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.

11. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm
positive..."

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a
look at him." So he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because
he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. So, since there
are 5 people in my family, one of them must be Chinese. It's either my mum
or my dad... or maybe my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha
Chu. But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

15. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 cents that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "Heck no,the steaks are
too high."

16. A man came round in the hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know
you can't, I've cut off your arms."

17. I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank. This proves once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

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Raizin is my name.