I spent two weeks writing this essay of personal reflection and a critique of the class.
Now it is over and I don't know what to do with myself. I suppose I can evaluate the class. I suppose I could look for jobs. I suppose I could get back to my own writing process. I suppose I could prepare for the clients I am seeing tonight. Read a book. Call a friend. Do something with my life.
I have two more months of school. New classes, CBT and Trauma, plus the capstone and a supervision class. I am looking forward to the electives, I am not looking forward to more attempts to show my growth.
I am not looking forward to a new job, not at this point. I wish I could be a consultant. I wish I could go back and forth between things, with a team of people I like.
It has been sunny. I have gone for walks, and now my feet hurt a lot.
I got more sleep than I have been, but don't necessarily feel rested. I finally shaved and brushed my hair. I need to exercise more. I probably need more commitments to keep myself focused, but I will likely fall back into unhealthy patterns for a few months as my internship winds down.
My brother and sister in law have a baby. I am an uncle. Visiting in the hospital it felt emotional, exciting and even a bit overwhelming. Mom couldn't stop pointing to parts of the baby, "aren't they the most beautiful part you've ever seen?" Yesterday at their house, the baby asleep, it felt like it would soon be no big deal. Just another day. Getting to see my parents happy. Getting to know that things would be ok for the future. Its a promise, thats what a baby is, but soon enough it will be a personality, a relationship. For now, she sleeps and makes faces while she sleeps. Babies that young are cute in the ugly way.
Need to reconnect with friends, but feel like I am coming out of a fog. Had my head in this paper too long.
