These days, a month in

I've been waking feeling a familiar malaise.  I don't want to get out of bed. I want to return to whatever dream, fantasy or even nightmare that I was having. I want the feeling if familiarity, of comfort in knowing that these characters know me.

I don't know that sleep and dreams are the cause. Usually later in the day I'm fine, similar to the lighter stages of my winter depression.  These last few days have been the first time in the trip I've gotten good sleep. Like 7-8 hours of actual sleep instead of constant waking. It's been nice. But maybe having that time my mind is processing things I'd have preferred to leave alone. 

Or maybe it's the weather. It's colder here.  Nice during the day and cool at night. I had to wear a few layers last night and that felt familiar. The sun isn't as present due to cloud cover but it is still there. Sometimes weather changes will throw your body out of wack and I've been feeling tight.

Maybe it's food,  I've been eating more crap and less veggies and fruit. They are slightly less available here or just not ever present on the street. More water less coffee? (I'm about to go get coffee)

Maybe it's social. I've been surrounded by people and conversations for a long time, and at this hostel haven't found the same crew.  The people I've liked have moved on, are on different schedules. People are characters and I have some bitterness towards one.  This hostel has two rooms where people watch movies and I love movies but it shuts down the conversation.   

I have three more nights here before moving on to banos. I hope to make a friend, and get back into a place where I feel like I want to do things not just feel like I should.