March

I am going to drug myself to sleep soon. Hopefully that will work, my day time meds are wearing off and I have been having trouble sleeping with this cold.
Today I was thinking of what my better self must look like.  Sometime yesterday or the day before I thought about how some people have had this idea of me at my best, and are disappointed with who I am now.  It occurred to me that I was in a relationship when they first knew me, and maybe there is something about having support like that, that brings out a boys better side.
 Lately I have been feeling just fine, but all around me shit seems pretty fucked... I guess more specifically with public ventures... works.
I don't know how to push SoT along and I don't always know if I want to. We are limping, we came up with a big plan, but I don't think we have the strength to make it happen without more support and that hasn't really surfaced. I am already feeling taxed by school, I don't even want to wake up on Sundays.
My Stepdad and Stepbrother are leaving to take a 3 month trip on motorcycles down to Argentina... sounds great.
 I think next year will be my last year at school. I think I have to make it that, or I will never leave. We may not even have a next year if we can't make shit happen... but I feel like I want to see it through at least that far.
I turn 30 next year, seems like a good time to throw your life into disarray. Maybe I will travel, maybe find a new job, maybe go back to school... who knows.

Spring break starts after this next week... I could have left, but I think I am going to use it to do all the things I haven't been doing.... oil change, dentist appointment, read a book or two, maybe go on a date or something who knows.
I think this is probably what I would sound like on a date...