I just watched this movie and really enjoyed it. Something about the dialog and the suspension of disbelief necessary in seeing this as a high school movie, complete with the wonderful scene with the out of it mother serving juice and milk.

I know people are supposed to be independent in relationships. That horrible jealousy and shallow quick fixes, falling, games and all that rush... thats bad... but when I listen to this song, I understand certain loves in my life, and sort of think that maybe the emotions of a fling, or a scandalous relationship, or a hard relationship well... they are beautiful too right? and I think what I like about these lyrics, is I can imagine myself in both roles, the one who seeks to know, and the one who is sought after... and in both cases its sort of true isn't it?




"i held you like a lover
happy hands
and your elbow in the appropriate place
and we ignored our others' happy plans
for that delicate look upon your face
our bodies moved and hardened
hurting parts of your garden
with no room for a pardon
in a place where no one knows what we have done

do you come
together ever with him?
is he dark enough
enough to see your light?
do you brush your teeth before you kiss?
do you miss my smell?
is he bold enough to take you on?
do you feel like you belong?
does he drive you wild?
or just mildly free?
what about me?

you held me like a lover
sweaty hands
and my foot in the appropriate place
we used cushions to cover happy glands
and the mild issue of our disgrace
our minds pressed and guarded
while our flesh disregarded
the lack of space for the light-hearted
in the boom that beats our drum

and i know i make you cry
i know sometimes you wanna die
but do you really feel alive without me?
if so be free
if not leave him for me
before one of us has
accidental babies
for we are ...

do you cum
together ever with him?
is he dark enough
enough to see your light?
do you brush your teeth before you kiss?
do you miss my smell?
is he bold enough to take you on?
do you feel like you belong?
does he drive you wild?
or just mildly free?

what about me?"

-Damien Rice "Accidental Babies"

I might be going here tonight with



Bronchi and Nate



or at least thats the rumor.



Also you should check out this


and know that I love you.

Me and Steve went to Sioux Falls to see my Grampa.



From left to Right,
Uncle Tim
Uncle Tony
My Gramps
Uncle Tom
Uncle Ted
My dad (Terry)
This picture was taken many years ago, but it is always one of our favorites, as it is ridiculously funny.





This is my Gramps and Grama when they were young.



When they were older. She died when I was about 5 I think, My Grampa is now turning 84.


My Gramps about 10 years ago with his dog Tahoe.

I just watched this speech by Obama, and I'm pretty sure I'm voting for him now.
Or rather, supporting him, I know it's a little late to vote for him and the rest of the country will decide. I guess the switch came mostly because I heard him really speak again. I have heard many of his stump speeches, Clinton's too, but they stopped sounding real a long time ago. Obama in this speech was able to convince me again that he is real and ready to handle real things. I'm still a little disturbed by his conservative streak. His personal responsibility talk, not because I don't believe in personal responsibility but because I worry when politicians talk about it that what they are really saying is "you're cut off" and usually at the worst time.

Anyway, this speech was my college experience in sociology. It was my experience in the United States and across the world. It was good. It wasn't the most inspirational, but it was one of the most honest speeches I have seen in a while by a politician. And honesty isn't what always wins me over... I didn't believe John Edwards the way I wanted to, but I liked what he had to say. I don't always like Clinton or Obama, but I want someone to take on the real challenge every once in a while, and like he says in the speech, he could run from this latest scandal, but why not address it the way it should be?

Franken is on letterman tonight if you care.
Apparently its all fairly scripted out.

This is the movie I saw tonight, it was fairly entertaining, and like the Bourne Identity I imagine they will make a few more.





This is something Mike the rock made a long time ago... we had plans to put them up everywhere, but we had plans to do a lot of things that never happened.

Song writing is never something that came easy to me. That being said, I often find myself in love with my friend's music more so than any other... but I don't think its just because I see them play, or know their story, or hear the song in person or while in creation that makes it special... for I have found many other songs very special having never even seen the artist in person. I think its the idea that comes to me subconsciously when i listen to something beautiful written by a friend, that the beauty seems so much bigger and more universal and beautiful than any friend of mine, not that my friends arent beautiful... but that in this single act of creation they have shed light in volume to show why it is that I so easily love them. And its not because they are human, a beautiful quality in itself, something I often cherish in conversation, in tears, in hugs, etc... but rather proof truly that god has dabbled ever so gently, pushing a bit of heaven into their voice or instrument at just the right time, to connect all creatures, lift your heads life and listen.

And then I feel sorry for crediting the universe with "their" creation, but come on...

There was a worm in the tequila, that transformed into a small fly, then a cicada, a small mouse, a rat, a bunny, a hare, a camel?

The tequila was transferred from one container to another, but as the liquid left the genie took more and more space.

The strange creation somehow turned around in the small vessel though it seemed less and less possible, its camel like nose somehow reaching with teeth drawn, then tongue stretching to reach for air or that vile liquid. We warned him not to get too close, but didn't know what to say to the ancient spirit. Does one rub or break the bottle? And how does a spirit like that get caught in a bottle of Jose it couldn't possibly have been in there for more than a few months.

Spring break seems a little overrated so far... mostly because i have barely left my house.
Not much goin on i guess... gonna return some videos I rented. Maybe do some homework.

played like 5 hours of civ today... what an accomplishment.

I half-dreamed slept about killing people for about an hour, thats not normal is it? Wasnt anyone in particular, i just don't think i should let myself get bored if thats the kind of thinking that will occur.

Not that I think addictions and things are a joking matter, but I think when Im bored like this, overindulgence seems like a friendly option, and that saddens me... mostly because I assume many of my friends have this thought every day.

I was trying to find something cool to put on here... but I havent been painting or drawing lately... Basically I havent been doing much of anything. My room is a mess... im in the long process of cleaning it. I bought a suit today. Its fancy.

9 days left of student teaching. Currently its spring break. One more thing teaching has over other professions.

Still dont know where Im living when i head back to morris.

Have you heard of e-prime? I think it would be really hard to talk that way, but maybe one day I will try.

Im still pretty sick. I feel sicker today than the past few days... but thats cool. Just a cold afterall.
My room cant really get that clean.. I dont have a dresser so I use the book shelves, but then I dont have space for all the books, or cds or movies or art supplies... I pretty much need an apartment.
Becky moved into these art apartments... they are pretty awesome... If she wasnt living there, I would think about it.

I use to write poetry
listening to this song,
the rain had only moved me in so many directions once or twice.
and the piano notes tugged each neural paths away.
while Craig spoke in nostalgics, I reminisced about blankets and longing
but if words alone never could save us,
then maybe its time to seek salvation in something higher,
stop longing for the girls of America,
flirting with soft eyes,
spitting my white noise.

Steadily coming to the realization like Charlemagne and Holly.
that these lovely dreams -
were just the first night(?)

One more glorious night in Morris... fun and frolic...
not a whole lot of worry, cept my own shit.

Today has been driving, sleeping, Chinese food with family, deodorant from target, thinking about all the ways I could die, homework, I have at least two lesson plans to prepare for tomorrow... Im guessing I will stealing a powerpoint from the online community on Africa... and playing a game with the kids in Econ.

I have all the modern global homework grades after several hours of exhausting page turning... up next econ... and oh there is a hell of a stack.

"Its too late for liquor but we could get some 3.2."

bout to head off to Morris with 1/3 of my grading done...
that means a lot to do when I get back.

I didnt write any journals on moodle this week... I should probably do that.
I have the topics picked out... just didnt write them.

Me and becky got in a fight last night in about 3 minutes... it was sort of ridiculous... its been a while but it felt the same, except now I feel a lot more wise, confident and comfortable with myself and my positions.
still... having not heard from her yet, and leaving on a bad note. Makes me feel pretty uneasy.

Its hard when something challenges my notions of how reality is... but I spose thats good for me.

I'm sort of only going to Morris because I promised people. I don't really care about the concert anymore.
Oh well.... I must seem a bore, you enjoy yourself and know that I am.